and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just had sex on a roof
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
