I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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