I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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