So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
