i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
