when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
