is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
