after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
