the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
they're like a gay fantastic four
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My vagina is officially offended.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
