Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
