dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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