Yo dont text me then not text me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize