What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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