oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
