Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
