Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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