When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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