If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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