he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize