we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
