Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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