they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize