So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
