Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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