The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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