I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
