I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
