what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
