Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
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can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize