I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize