she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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