You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
