she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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