yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
