New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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