So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
