i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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