Moan for me like Helen Keller
our cab driver is having phone sex.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
