grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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