Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
