We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
