Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
