Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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