Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I need to align my fucking chakras
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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