Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
