I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think I just sharted jello shots
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