kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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