i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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