Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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