He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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