i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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