White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
