...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
MIDGETS
????
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
