If i come over, it means nothing
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
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I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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