I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This baby is an asshole
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
