we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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