I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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