so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
