i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
