lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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